Why Do Babies Cry?
A baby's first cry does not necessarily have to be prolonged crying. Most mothers expect to hear crying immediately after birth. The source states that after a vaginal birth — which it distinguishes from a physiological birth — babies do not have to cry out to announce their arrival. It suggests that when birth takes place without medical intervention, in a calm atmosphere, without excessive medication or stress for the mother and baby, the baby may arrive without crying. The text imagines the baby saying, ‘Here I am, Mum and Dad,’ rather than, ‘Put me back.’
Each time their baby cries, young parents become anxious that something is wrong: ‘I’m not coping’, ‘Are we good parents?’, ‘What are we doing wrong or not well enough?’. Then comes the question: ‘Why is the baby crying? Are they crying too much? Could something be hurting? Could they be cold?’
Crying is a reflex through which a young child communicates with the world.
A child expresses their need in the here and now. They are not terrorising or manipulating their parents, nor are they trying to force anything. They communicate a problem and calm down as soon as it is resolved.
Newborns may cry for several hours in total over the course of a day, and the overall pattern often changes as a baby grows. Crying can communicate hunger, discomfort, feeling too hot or cold, a startle response, tiredness, pain or a need for contact. A newborn does not understand why a caregiver has briefly put them down to eat or use the bathroom, and may cry intensely even when the separation is short.
Of course, crying may be caused by a full nappy, but also by pain. If your child cries for many hours during the day and at night, sleeps very little, has feeding problems and is not gaining weight, it is worth contacting a midwife, paediatrician or lactation consultant.
It is interesting that parents have difficulty recognising the reason for crying regardless of how many children they have. It is not that parents become immune to crying with each subsequent child. They gain some distance from the child, the situation, themselves and their role. In everyday terms, they ‘relax’, which facilitates the release of hormones associated with a good mood; this, in turn, affects their relationship with the child and their ability to cope with the stress caused by the little one's crying. I tell new parents an anecdote: ‘When the first child swallows a coin, the family panics. They go to hospital, run around, shout “Help!”, cry and demand an operation. When the second child swallows a coin, they calmly wait for it to appear in the stool. When the third child swallows a coin, they deduct it from the child's pocket money.’
Of course, no crying should be ignored, because doing so is a form of neglecting the child. If parents do not respond when their child needs them, the child gradually learns that there is no point in asking or calling because no one will come anyway, and that the world is an unfriendly place. Soothing a crying child gives them a sense of security and shows that someone caring is there to solve the problem. This can be seen clearly in the youngest children, who often cannot be put down, but whose reason for crying can be removed simply by holding them in loving arms, rocking them and allowing them to stay close.
Knowing that crying does not necessarily mean illness makes it easier to face.
Let children communicate a problem, but do not let it escalate into a desperate cry for help.
Healthy children can intuitively communicate a need, and their carers' role is to find the cause of the crying and a way to soothe it.
Midwife Agnieszka Gąsior-Guziak