Négocier avec un enfant de 0 à 3 ans : Comment résoudre efficacement les conflits et instaurer le respect

Negotiating with children aged 0-3 may seem difficult, but it is during this period that the foundations of communication and relationships begin to take shape. Although toddlers are not able to have complicated conversations, negotiations are key to building mutual respect and problem-solving skills at this stage.

Why is it worth negotiating with a baby and a small child?

Although children at this age are not yet able to fully express their needs in words, it is worth starting to communicate with them in a conscious and responsible way. This approach teaches them to understand their emotions, builds trust and creates a sense of security. A child who is treated with respect develops the ability to cooperate and understands boundaries better.

Basic rules for negotiating with toddlers

1. Simple choices

In the case of children aged 0-3 years, simple decisions are crucial. Instead of saying “Wear this shirt”, you can ask: “Do you want to wear a red or blue shirt?”. Such small choices help the child feel responsible for his decisions.

2. Understanding emotions

Children at this age often experience strong emotions, such as frustration or anger, but they are unable to fully express them. It is important for the parent to be able to understand what may be behind a given behavior. Words like “I can see you might be nervous” or “I understand that maybe you’re tired” help your child feel understood.

3. Setting boundaries

Although children at this age cannot yet fully understand the concept of boundaries, it is essential that they are clear and consistently respected. Explain to your child why certain things are important: “We need to take a bath now because it will help you relax and sleep better.”

4. Giving time to react

Young children need time to understand the situation and make a decision. Instead of expecting a quick response, give them a moment to process the information and think. This can be a time to “think calmly” before making a decision.

When we negotiate with our offspring, we give them a chance to learn a lot of things, m.in.:

• correctly formulate thoughts and expectations
• clearly communicate your needs
• developing skills / the gift of persuasion
• perseverance in pursuing your goal
• use a whole range of verbal and non-verbal messages
• conflict resolution by agreement.

When do negotiations make no sense?

In the case of infants and very young children, some situations require a decision “for now”. Sometimes we just need to act without waiting for a conversation. In these moments, it is crucial to remain calm and confident so that the child feels that he is being cared for and understood, even if there is no possibility of negotiation.

When is it worth postponing negotiations?

Sometimes the best solution is to postpone the negotiation. It is worth doing this when:

You or your child are too nervous to have a constructive conversation

You don’t have enough time to discuss the matter thoroughly

You are in a public place, where it is difficult to have a calm discussion

Need more information to make a decision

In such situations, say: “This is an important matter. Let’s talk about it later when we have more time/peace.”

Negotiations as an opportunity to build relationships

Although a child aged 0-3 does not yet have conversations like an adult, our every action, word and reaction shapes his attitude towards others. The future ability to communicate and resolve conflicts depends on how we treat their emotions and needs. Thanks to positive interaction, the child feels respected, we build a strong and healthy bond that will last for years.

Negotiating with children aged 0-3 is the foundation of future cooperation, problem-solving and healthy relationships. Treating the toddler with respect, giving simple choices, understanding emotions and consistently setting boundaries are key elements that prepare the child for independence and develop their communication skills. Although it is not always easy, every successful negotiation is a step towards a better bond and a better understanding in the future.